29 Hilarious Jokes & Puns About Accountants

We believe there’s more to accountants than just numbers and spreadsheets, as they’re the backbone of the financial world. We’ve compiled a list of amusing jokes and puns about accountants that will make you laugh out loud. Prepare yourself for some accounting-themed humor and grab a calculator (just kidding, you won’t need one).

Jokes & Puns about Accountants

  1. Why did the accountant cross the road? To get to the other tax deductible side!
  2. Why do accountants always wear green visors? To match the money they’re counting.
  3. How do you know you’re at a bad accountant’s office? They have a budget of zero dollars.
  4. What’s an accountant’s favorite vegetable? A bean counter!
  5. What did the accountant say when he was accused of stealing pens from the office? “I’m just taking inventory.”
  6. Why do accountants make great lovers? They’re great with numbers and they’re always ready to balance the books.
  7. What do you get when you cross an accountant with a monkey? A total number cruncher!
  8. Why do auditors carry red pens? In case they need to draw blood.
  9. What did the accountant say when he finished his tax return? “I’m done calculating the cost of my mistakes.”
  10. What do you call an accountant who’s always making mistakes? A tax liability.
  11. Why do accountants get paid so much? Because they know how to add value.
  12. How do accountants measure success? By the number of decimal places they go to.
  13. What did the accountant say to the auditor? “I’ve got all the receipts, but no one’s asking for them.”
  14. Why do accountants always carry calculators? In case they need to count their blessings.
  15. What do you get when you cross an accountant with a lawyer? A tax attorney!
  16. What did the accountant say when asked if he had any financial advice? “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket… unless it’s a tax-deductible basket.”
  17. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? An accountant knows he’s boring.
  18. Why was the accountant kicked out of the bar? He was trying to balance the books.
  19. How do accountants keep their pants up? With suspenders, of course!
  20. Why was the accountant’s job so stressful? He had to deal with budgets, financial statements, and taxes all day.
  21. What did the accountant say when asked if he’d ever had to work with difficult clients? “Yes, I’ve had to deal with quite a few tax evaders.”
  22. Why do accountants love spreadsheets? Because they’re great at keeping track of numbers and they never forget a formula.
  23. How do you know an accountant is smiling? You can’t see their face behind all the paperwork.
  24. Why did the accountant get in trouble at work? He was caught doing his own taxes.
  25. What did the accountant say when asked about his work schedule? “I’m always working 9 to 5… or 9 to 9, depending on the season.”
  26. Why do accountants always carry pens? In case they need to write off a mistake.
  27. How do you know an accountant is really, really excited? They use exclamation marks in their spreadsheets!
  28. Why do accountants always carry calculators? In case they need to count their lucky stars.
  29. What do you get when you cross an accountant with a computer programmer? A tax code expert!
Abbie Wilson
Abbie Wilson has years of experience in the DIY & construction field having covered roofing, plumbing, and general DIY for various award-winning publications.

People are reading