21 Medical Assistant Jokes & Puns to Make You Laugh

Being a medical assistant isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good laugh with some jokes and puns about your beloved profession.

In this short, yet hilarious post we’ll explore some of the best puns and funny jokes about the assistants in the medical word.

Medical Assistant Jokes & Puns

  • New patients are like a box of chocolate. You never know what you gonna get.
  • Why did the medical assistant cross the road? To get to the exam room!
  • What do you call a medical assistant who can’t type? A manual practitioner.
  • Why did the doctor’s assistant become a vegetarian? They wanted to reduce their blood pressure.
  • Why did the medical assistant take a ruler to the sofa bed with them? To make sure they got enough rest!
  • What do you call a medical assistant who can’t find the pulse? A lost cause. Ha!
  • What did the medical assistant say to the patient who complained about their bedpan? “Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world.”
  • Why did the medical assistant wear gloves to work? To avoid getting their hands dirty.
  • Why did the medical assistant run down the hallway? To make rounds!
  • Why did the medical assistant become a nurse? They wanted to get paid more for doing the same job.
  • Why did the medical assistant get a degree in biology? To understand the human body.
  • What do you call a medical assistant who has a cold? A runny nose-clip.
  • Why did the medical assistant carry a hammer to work? To break the ice with patients.
  • What do you call a medical assistant who can’t read a thermometer? A Fahrenheit failure.
  • Why did the medical assistant become a surgeon? They wanted to make a difference.
  • Why did the medical assistant take a flashlight to work? To shine a light on their patients’ health.
  • What do you call a medical assistant who can’t find the right vein? A needle in the wrong haystack.
  • Why did the medical assistant go to a movie? To see “The Doctor”.
  • Why did the medical assistant go to the park? To take a short break from their patients.
  • What do you call a medical assistant who can’t take a joke? A humorless healer.
  • Why did the medical assistant become a chiropractor? They wanted to get to the root of the problem.
Abbie Wilson
Abbie Wilson has years of experience in the DIY & construction field having covered roofing, plumbing, and general DIY for various award-winning publications.

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