18 Bus Driver Jokes & Puns to Make You Chuckle

Vroom vroom… being a bus driver is fun but it is even more fun with a few jokes up your sleeve. In our latest comedy-filled post, we will look at some of the most popular and best jokes and puns on the topic of bus drivers. Yep, the people that look at you grumpily when you give them a big amount of cash for a single ticket that will take you five stops down. Those guys. So, before we bore you, here is the list.

Bus Driver Jokes & Puns to Make You Chuckle

  1. Conductor, this bus was very slow! Oh, I expect we’ll pick up speed now you’re getting off!
  2. That’s the thing with bus driver bukkakes. You wait ages for one to come and then they all come at once.

  3. It must be good to be a male bus driver… They pick up ladies all day! l0l.
  4. My uncle is a bus driver that circles Big Ben in London … he works around the clock.
  5. Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today? No. Is there a strike?No, they’re stopping to let the passengers off.
  6. Do buses and trains run on time? Usually, yes. No, they don’t. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks.
  7. What do monsters play when they are in the bus? Squash.
  8. Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I won’t stand in your way.
  9. I used to be a bus driver But I got sick of people talking behind my back.
  10. So one day a man gets on a bus and runs into the most beautiful nun he’s ever met. He asked the nun to come back to his house, the nun replies with no and gets off the bus. The man goes up to the bus driver and asks him “how can I get with the nun?” The bus driver replies, “every day at 8pm the nun does to pray at the graveyard, maybe if you dress up as Jesus you can persuade her.” The man thinks it’s a good idea and at 8pm that night he goes to the grave in his best Jesus costume and goes up to the nun and says, “I’m you lord and saviour Jesus Christ, to prove your loyalty to me you need to have sex with me”, the nun reply’s, “ok, but I only do anal”, the man agrees and after the sex he rips off his Jesus costume and says “HA I’m the guy from the bus!” Then the nun rips off the costume and says “HA I’m the bus driver”
  11. I always get bored and frustrated jacking off three bus drivers at once. You’re going at it for ages then suddenly…
  12. What’s the difference between Pastor Maldonado and a bus driver? One is a highly skilled professional driver, and the other is in Formula 1.
  13. Woman bus drivers. When I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we as a society have come in equality. And then I wait for the next bus…
  14. What do you call rude bus drivers? Bustards
  15. What have I got in my hands? A double decker bus! You looked!
  16. Why did the bus stop? Because it saw the zebra crossing.
  17. Passenger: Is this bus going to London? Conductor: No. Passenger: London is written on the front. Conductor: You can see an advertisement for canned beans on the side, but we don’t sell them!
  18. I quit my job as a bus driver. It was driving me to madness.
Abbie Wilson
Abbie Wilson has years of experience in the DIY & construction field having covered roofing, plumbing, and general DIY for various award-winning publications.

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