18 Best Jokes & Puns About Gambling to Make You Laugh

The odds of a funny joking laughing are as good as the odds of Leicester City winning the English Premier League back in 2015-16 season. Having a good laugh is a remedy to bad losses but also can bring out joy for those wanting to understand the world of gambling a bit more, this includes playing slots at your local casino. So, before we get carried away, here are some of the best jokes about gambling.

Best Jokes & Puns About Gambling

  1. What does a gambling addict call heaven? Pair-a-dice.
  2. My girlfriend just dumped me because of my gambling addiction. But I know I can win her back.
  3. Judge to carpenter: “You were arrested during a drugs bust in a gambling den. What were you doing there?” “Making a bolt for the door, your honour.”

  4. I finally have quit gambling…I do cryptos now.
  5. Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.
  6. I don’t understand Christians. They say that gambling is wrong, but they bet their entire life on there being a heaven.
  7. I was gambling with a farmer last week and apparently had a really good hand, so good to the point that he bet his livelihood, all 397 of his cattle. He really raised the steaks.
  8. A guy with a gambling addiction walks into a butchers and says to the butcher, “I bet you $500 you can’t get the meat down from the top shelf without a ladder” The butcher says, “I can’t take that bet, the steaks are too high.”
  9. Why aren’t there any casinos in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs.
  10. What do you call an iguana who runs a casino? The lizard of odds.
  11. Poker is like s** – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing.
  12. My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.
  13. Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.
  14. What do you call a paraplegic who self medicates with drugs and gambling? A High Roller.
  15. What do gamblers drive? A Chevroulette.
  16. What did the gambler say when asked what his favorite numbers were? “I like those odds.”
  17. What do you call a drunk who won’t shut the fuck up about being a successful gambler. A Keno-speaker.
  18. What did the first-time gambler say to the dealer after being dealt an ace and a queen?
    “I don’t know how you know my name, but address me by the color of my skin again and we’re gonna have problems.”


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