The odds of a funny joking laughing are as good as the odds of Leicester City winning the English Premier League back in 2015-16 season. Having a good laugh is a remedy to bad losses but also can bring out joy for those wanting to understand the world of gambling a bit more, this includes playing slots at your local casino. So, before we get carried away, here are some of the best jokes about gambling.
Best Jokes & Puns About Gambling
- What does a gambling addict call heaven? Pair-a-dice.
- My girlfriend just dumped me because of my gambling addiction. But I know I can win her back.
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Judge to carpenter: “You were arrested during a drugs bust in a gambling den. What were you doing there?” “Making a bolt for the door, your honour.”
- I finally have quit gambling…I do cryptos now.
- Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.
- I don’t understand Christians. They say that gambling is wrong, but they bet their entire life on there being a heaven.
- I was gambling with a farmer last week and apparently had a really good hand, so good to the point that he bet his livelihood, all 397 of his cattle. He really raised the steaks.
- A guy with a gambling addiction walks into a butchers and says to the butcher, “I bet you $500 you can’t get the meat down from the top shelf without a ladder” The butcher says, “I can’t take that bet, the steaks are too high.”
- Why aren’t there any casinos in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs.
- What do you call an iguana who runs a casino? The lizard of odds.
- Poker is like s** – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing.
- My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.
- Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.
- What do you call a paraplegic who self medicates with drugs and gambling? A High Roller.
- What do gamblers drive? A Chevroulette.
- What did the gambler say when asked what his favorite numbers were? “I like those odds.”
- What do you call a drunk who won’t shut the fuck up about being a successful gambler. A Keno-speaker.
- What did the first-time gambler say to the dealer after being dealt an ace and a queen?
“I don’t know how you know my name, but address me by the color of my skin again and we’re gonna have problems.”