17 Funny Jokes & Puns About Golden Retriever Dogs

Having a Golden Retriever as a breed of dog in a family can be so entertaining. From stealing your shoes to creating funny situations with your kids, these cute and cuddly dogs simply thrive in a family environment.

To share some of our favourite jokes about Golden Retrievers, we have compiled a list of our favourite puns and jokes about them.

Funny Jokes and Puns about Golden Retrievers

  1. A Golden Retriever mixed with a Poodle is called a Golden Doodle. Aren’t you glad they didn’t call it a Poo Retriever?
  2. What did the golden retriever say when his owner put him up for adoption? Big Woof
  3. What was king Midas’ favorite pet? A golden retriever
  4. “Did you just spend all of our money on a dog!?” We’ll be just fine, it’s a golden retriever!
  5. I tried to cross a redneck with a golden retriever… All I got was a dirty look from the golden retriever.
  6. Happiness. People always say money can’t buy happiness. Well tell that my golden retriever.
  7. If you want a girlfriend but don’t want your wife to know…date a blonde and get a Golden Retriever.
  8. Many Chinese restaurants have names like, Golden Palace, Golden Lotus, Golden Dragon… but mine is named after my favourite dish, Golden Retriever.
  9. What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
  10. A golden retriever walks into a bar. The dog sits at the bar, locks eyes with the bartender and wearily says “One beer, one shot, please.” The bartender says “Holy moly! A talking dog! You should be in the circus, buddy!” The goldie says “Why? Do they need an electrician?”
  11. I recently found out my girlfriend Tina is allergic to Biscuit, my golden retriever
    It was really hard leaving the pound without Tina.
  12. So, I recently bought a female Golden retriever and named her Sophia… Because she’s my Golden Girl. Ha ha.
  13. What’s gold and hairy? a golden retriever.x
  14. I wanted a hair transplant, so I bought a golden retriever.
  15. She’s blonde, has great hair, and keeps me on my toes. Yes, that’s my golden retriever.
  16. I got a new shoe cleaner, comes in dog form. Indeed, it’s my lovely golden retriever.
  17. They shed fur as they shed happiness, yep that sounds like a golden retriever.
Abbey Wilson
Abbey Wilson
Abbie Wilson has years of experience in the DIY & construction field having covered roofing, plumbing, and general DIY for various award-winning publications.


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